My three step recipe for overcoming procrastination
I have spent more money on anti-procrastination software that I am willing to admit publicly.
I have tried many technical solutions - all sorts of website blockers, app blockers, digital hygiene apps... without much success.
If you want to procrastinate, you will always find a way to do it.
Then, one of the online courses put me in the right direction. Procrastination did not happen because I was weak, had an attention disorder, or enjoyed fun activities more than doing what others expected me to do.
Procrastination did happen because I was afraid to fail.
It turns out it is pretty simple: people will latch on to any distraction if there is something they do not want to think about. Be it a challenging project, a possibility of a failure, not knowing what to do and not willing to admit it, preciously crafted image of self being at risk, looming conflict...
Fear drives those things.
So I thought - let's cope with my fears. And this was my biggest mistake.
After a couple of months of going through all sorts of self-reflection and meditations, I have realised it could not work. I had no time to pinpoint every possible source of fear.
But then, I read an article for parents about growing confident kids, and the advice was pretty simple - give your kids challenges big enough they will struggle and small enough they can handle them. If the challenge is too big, it erodes confidence, if it is too small, it does not allow confidence growth in the first place. It was all about sizing.
What a brilliant observation.
That moment, I have decided to become my own parent. And I use a very simple three-step process to cope with procrastination:
Recognise the moment when you procrastinate.
Figure out WHAT are you running from.
Define the smallest action you can take to lower the chance of your failure.
I have read somewhere that you gain confidence by repeatedly taking actions and learning what you can and cannot do. In this way, you do not try to tame your fears, but you eliminate them for good.
The smallest actions include but are not limited to:
experiment to learn more about the challenge you are facing (easy) - you may not know how to accomplish your goals. Instead of quitting early, go & play for the sake of exploration. I call it 'research' :).
define your direction and your single next step - you do not have to have the entire path to success defined. Commit to the next step, not to the whole project. Life gets much easier :).
talk to someone (intermediate) - the previous two points maybe not necessary when you speak to your boss or a friend about your challenge. Note: if your ego does not allow you for that, drop it.
reevaluate your priorities (advanced) - it may be that you have some competing desires in your life. For example, I do like TV and I do like how I feel stronger after workouts. However, I observed noticeable improvements in my strength only after making enough time for proper training and preparation, which all started with the first two approaches (go for a short walk early, do one small strength exercise when passing by a street workout place).
There are two big lessons learned for me:
actions beat thinking
reevaluating priorities is a never-ending story. It is a constant balance to be made.
Thank you for your patience. I hope this article, written on Sunday evening, will be at least a little bit helpful. Drop me a line if it is, drop me a line if it is not!
Yes, I am still afraid of failure. But it no longer prevents me from doing things.